How To Get Your Man Involved In Wedding Planning
So you just got engaged and the wedding is just a few weeks or months away. You simply can't wait to celebrate your "big day" with the people you love and cherish. Your dream and expectation are to have that beautiful wedding you have always looked forward to.
But, there is a problem... Your husband-to-be doesn't appear as excited about things as you do. It seems it's more about "you" (bride) than the two of you. How do you get your soon-to-be-groom interested and participate in the planning of the wedding?
Well, this sounds like a popular question most brides face before their wedding day. But before we try to find an answer to this multi-billion dollar question, let's look like at some "myths" a bride in such a situation may have:
Myth #1: My groom doesn't really love me enough to take part in our wedding planning.
"If you really love me, you will plan our wedding with me”. This is the thought of many brides. Of course, he loves you, and the reason you guys are getting married in the first place.
Myth #2: Men hate (don't like) weddings.
Uhm, not really. Yes, you may find a lot more women than men at weddings and yes, men do not voluntarily get up to catch the garter, but it doesn't mean men don't like weddings. If so, no man would agree to have one.
Myth #3: You can plan it all yourself
You can drive a car with your only your legs and feet, but it doesn't make it a good idea. Truth be told, planning a wedding is a lot of work and the responsibilities need to be shared. You don't want to be so stressed by the very event you want to enjoy doing it all alone, do you?
With all these myths out of the way, let's look at how to get the groom excited and involved in planning your wedding.
The Deal Breaker:
Understanding that your "love- button" may see and understand things differently is key.
Here are 7 ways to get your groom-to-be interested and involved in the wedding planning process:
1. Start It Right:
It is definitely not a sales meeting or interview. It is wedding planning. You don't want to want to bombard him with questions like "which color looks best: mauve, violet or purple?" as soon as he comes home on Monday. That will be the wrong time for him to participate. Besides, most men don't even see any difference in these colors anyways.
Find the right mood and place when both of you are relaxed, to begin with.
2. Make It A "Convo", Not A Lecture:
It will be quite difficult to involve your groom if it all feels like a presentation or "lecture" on what you want to be done. Make the idea to seek his participation a conversational one. One in which his assistance is needed and valued.
3. Play To His Strengths:
There is no harm in trying something new, right? Sure, especially if the interest is already there. However, in this case, where there is almost no interest, you may
want to engage him in places and activities he'd likely enjoy. For instance, if he loves cars and driving, put him in charge of choosing a wedding car/limo.
4. Get A List Of Tasks Handy:
Men love to fix things, especially when he has a good reason to. (It's the whole male anatomy thing) They also need a clear goal to achieve any action. Sometimes, a groom may want to genuinely help but just may never know how, where or when to do so. In other cases, he may simply have no clue what you may want from him. How about giving him a clear list of tasks you'd love him to help you with. Give him options even though you want him to do all of them. Say something like, "Honey, I understand you love good music and nice photos, could you help in choosing a playlist, booking a DJ, finding a photographer and securing a great venue for the reception? Then top it off with a reward that is attractive to him. Maybe YOU. (hint, hint)
5. Genuinely Support His Ideas:
Be prepared to hear some of the most ridiculous answers you've ever heard while trying to involve your man in the wedding planning (don't say we didn't warn you :)). From, "I'm cool with anything" to "what on earth do we need bridesmaids for?” you'll hear it all. But, always remember your goal in all this is to get him interested and involved in the process. So, if he thinks no alcohol should be served, just support his idea without make him feel bad. Jilting almost everything he says may only mean his effort is probably not needed at all or doesn't count. And then the whole strategy of reading this article will work in reverse.
6. Avoid Micro-managing Him:
There is no problem with calling a few times to check up on him to know the progress thus far in the planning. That's sweet! What's bitter? Calling and giving instructions 50 times in a day. That is not just bitter, it's frustrating to every man, especially your to-be husband (even though he may not say it). Once you decide to involve him, it is important to not "micromanage" him too. He may not do it as you expected, but trust that the process will end well.
7. Make It Fun... And A Bit Competitive:
Men simply hate boring stuff! How about trying something fun to get him excited? Try a little fun competition to engage your partner, like "whoever comes up with the best design for the invitation card gets a small treat (massage, gift, candy, or almost anything) from the other person". Or again, maybe YOU. (hint, hint)
Want to make things more "effortless"? Consider putting him in charge of or fully involving him in:
1. Deciding the wedding budget
2. Setting a wedding date
3. Choosing the formal wear
4. Planning his dinner
5. Selecting a playlist (music)
6. Food and drinks (what to serve and how to serve it)
9. Guests accommodation
10. Guests list
Activities and tasks are simply endless and yours may be different from those here. Whether it is choosing colors for decor, flowers, or the bride's gown, your man can assist as long as you get him interested. Now, you know how to get him interested, engaged and involved. Good luck, and we can't wait to celebrate you at your wedding. :)